Every November I begin to feel the excitement (and stress!) that can come with high expectations for a festive holiday season. Now, with Thanksgiving under our belts, no pun intended, we have the next round of holidays just around the corner. For many, this time of year can be “the most wonderful time” and yet, it can be tinged with sadness, anxiety or depression. Of course, severe bouts of depression and anxiety are best served by professional help. But what about those, like many of us, who just feel a little overwhelmed or blue this time of year? According to research conducted by two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, there is abundant research that suggests there is one critical and inherent aspect of the holiday season that can boost spirits, even for those to whom it does not come naturally.
In Latin, gratitude is expressed by the word gratia. It means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Expressing gratitude means that you are appreciative of the things you receive, whether concrete or intangible. You are identifying that there is goodness in your life and in your world. By recognizing that goodness is outside of you, at least to an extent, you have the opportunity to connect with something that is larger than who you are as an individual. This connection can be to others, to your environment, to your church or to something else entirely – the outcome though, is consistent according to research. Gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness.
Giving thanks for what you have and for what makes you feel fulfilled creates space to feel more positivity, enjoy experiences more readily, cope with challenges more easily and improve relationships.
The Science of Gratitude
Dr.’s Emmons and McCullough conducted a study in which they asked participants to write a few sentences each week that focused on three topics. One group was asked to write about things or events they feel grateful for, the second was asked to write about things or events that made them feel irritated or upset, and the third was simply asked to write about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on whether the impact was either positive or negative).
The study found after 10 weeks that the group who wrote about gratitude was more optimistic and felt more confident about their lives. They also reported exercising more and being in generally better health when compared to those who wrote about aggravating circumstances. Similar findings have been identified in studies conducted by other leading scientists.
Thank You for “You”
When it comes to relationships, especially those that have lasted a long time, expression of gratitude can sometimes fall by the wayside. Partners who have been together for many years may think it is implied or simply that their partner should know that they are thankful for what they receive or what is done. But sometimes saying it out loud can make all the difference. A study from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that couples who took the time to say thank you to their spouse felt more positively toward the other person and also had an easier time talking about concerns they had with respect to their relationship.[ii] This type of openness can help get people through challenging times and stay in good communication even if or when the going gets tough.
The same argument can be made at work. How many of us can look back in our lives at a manager that just didn’t give credit where credit was due or wasn’t appreciative when you went above and beyond? We didn’t feel compelled to want to help out that way again, did we? The study regarding relationships mentioned above cited that managers who remember to show appreciation for their staff find their employees to have more motivation to work harder and go out of their way to complete objectives.
Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Appreciating what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t have can help you maintain a more positive outlook on what is to come and even improve your health. It is not to say that having a resentful or ungrateful moment is going to send you to the ER, but trying to find ways to reflect on that which we are grateful for can help people through times that may not feel or seem so rosy.
So, if you are one who doesn’t have the easiest time around the holidays, then here are some helpful ways you may cope by cultivating a force field of gratitude.
Write a thank-you note. If you enjoy writing and have a person who has helped you in some way, be it great or small, writing a letter of gratitude can open you up to your appreciation of what is positive. You may even want to write yourself a thank you note once in a while.
Keep a gratitude journal. Writing about the things that make you grateful on a daily basis can work the same way meditating or exercising does. It is a healthy habit that helps you focus on the good.
Meditate. Mindful meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as “peace”), it is also possible to focus on what you’re grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).
Mentally thank someone. This time of year can be hectic, and if adding another task to your to-do list feels like it might add insult to injury, then simply thinking about what you are appreciative of and grateful for can be the most efficient and effective remedy for the winter blues.
We hope that this season is filled with family, friends, and happiness. And we understand that it can also come with its challenges. It’s most certainly cliché, but life is a gift, that’s why they call it the present. We hope you can practice giving thanks. Who knows, you might just end up loving the holidays from now on…or at least find some joy and peace during the stressful periods.
